The UK has its fair share of wacky programming. Just ask Chrissy Teigan who recently stumbled upon the TV treat that is Naked Attraction.
“Oh my god they are just looking at genitalia. It’s zooming in on penis and balls” she tweeted, in a message strangely redolent of the initial pitch for the show (I imagine).
Strange as it may seem however, the UK hasn’t cornered the market on weird and wacky TV shows. Here are seven others from across the globe that leave you asking… but why?
1. Candy or Not Candy
Country of origin: Japan
Run: This appears to have been a one-off.
Elevator pitch: Some things that are actually made of chocolate look like things that traditionally are not made of chocolate. Bite them and see.
Why? That’s a very good question. You will not enjoy this list if you are going to keep asking questions like that.
2. Vanilla Ice goes Amish
Country of origin: USA
Run: Two series from 2013.
Elevator pitch: Nineties rapper and cheimatophile Vanilla Ice sets aside all modern technology to learn whittling from the Amish.
3. Sperm Race
Country of Origin: Germany
Run: Commissioned in 2005, unbelievably this programme never made it to air.
Elevator Pitch: The sperm of 12 men races to an egg. Owner of the fastest sperm gets a Porsche. A red one.
But…but… President of German Endemol, Boris Brandt denied that this demonstrated a ‘dumbing down’, by saying “Sperm Race is serious. Fertility is a big thing for Germany.”
4. Man vs Beast
Country of origin: USA
Run: Two series in 2003 and 2004.
Elevator pitch: Animals are good at things. But are they better than people?
Oh that doesn’t sound so bad. Hmm. Two series of the show aired in the US before the backlash from the animal rights lobby called an end to it. Highlights included a hotdog eating competing with a Kodiak bear, and a race to pull a jet a certain distance between an Asian elephant and 44 dwarfs. A series was commissioned for ITV, but it was never broadcast.
5. Who’s Your Daddy?
Country of Origin: USA
Run: A one off special was followed by a mini series, which was postponed indefinitely following accusations of insensitivity and exploitation. They have since been aired.
Elevator Pitch: There’s $100,000 for the young lady who can pick her real father out of a line up of 25 men pretending to be her father for money.
How did that even get on TV? No idea. Some people thought it was exploitative, which led one Fox affiliate in North Carolina to decline to air the series pilot. It’s really touching though, ask Fox Head of Reality Mike Darnell who said “I guarantee you: if you have any heart, you’ll be bawling at the end of the show.”
It's cute that the woman in the clip got to have that moment with her dad though. That's not her dad.
6. The Intercept
Country of Origin: Russia
Run: 1998-2000
Elevator Pitch: You get a car for free. Then the police are called and told that you stole it. If you can avoid the cops, you keep the car.
Is that even legal? Apparently so. The chases took place in Moscow with real police officer chasing the ‘thieves’. The show aimed to discourage car thieves to combat Moscow’s sky-high auto-theft rates. It didn’t work. The show was cancelled.
7. Eaten Alive
Country of Origin: USA
Run: This was a one-off 'special' in 2014
Elevator Pitch: Some dude hunts down a massive snake, puts on a special suit covered in pigs blood and tries to get eaten. Except he doesn’t get eaten because of entirely foreseeable concerns about pain and death.
Shouldn’t they have renamed it Not Eaten Alive? Was that a joke? No jokes.